I'm going to hell...

For being unmoved when people make requests for cheap or free stuff on behalf of sick children.

It's not that I don't care. I do. Sick children break my heart. And it's not that I am not occasionally moved. Or that I don't want to help out OR that I'm not willing to donate time, money, materials, whatever when the mood hits me.

But for some reason when I see someone requesting free or cheap stuff from strangers because their uncle's brother's daughter twice removed was born with her head on upside down and would love nothing more than a pair of custom diamond earrings, (ok, it's rarely that extravagant but as long as we are going to hell, we may as well be exaggerating too) to wear until her head gets screwed on strait, i kind of roll my eyes and move on.

I'm thankful that there are other people out there who are far nicer than I.

why yes, I can be an asshole

In discussing relations with Cheese's ex and her husband... edited for gist

Me: ... instead of Stephen calling you at the last minute and interrupting your day (they wanted him to take the kidlet on her day so they could spend some time together)

C: ...Stephen? Steven

Me: i don't really care how he spells it. Not planning to send any birthday cards.

Wow

I sure have been behaving lately.

I'm being considerate, I think

A couple of weeks ago, there was some drama with the BF's ex wife. I realized that what I really want to do is punch her. Being as she is currently pregnant (NOT HIS!!!), I told him I'd be sure to hit her in the face. I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt the baby.

Well, the time is nearly here to squirt that thing out. So I amended my thoughts. And promised to hit her when she isn't holding the baby so that she doesn't accidentally drop him.

A present for Bella

The convo went something like this:
V: If I ever get preggo i'll find a way to scrape up the money for an abortion. (like the pun?!)
B: Offers to raise/take the child
V: Sweet, you can have it in a jar when they are done.

Introduction to my (our) evil side

The wife and I have an ongoing joke. the joke is, we are going to hell for all the awful things we do and say. It's kind of like confession sometimes. Only without the hail marys and our fathers. And neither of us is catholic.

Regardless, pretty near daily, for the last two years, there has been phone calls, emails, texts, etc. They always start with

Dood. I'm going to hell

Or something similar. the other day, I suggested that I start blogging our assholery. Because damnit, we're funny. And funny needs to be shared.